I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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