Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
