I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
