very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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