So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
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