We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Terrible idea I love it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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