I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize