we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
