dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
