She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
