Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
