I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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