look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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