Me. At least after what I've been through.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
