I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
