yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize