I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
NoShamevember. You game?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
