I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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