This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do vagina's smell?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
