Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
