there's paper in my vomit.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
