I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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