you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
