drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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