Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
