youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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