was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize