so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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