the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Randomize
