Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
