Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
