...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
