hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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