have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I fill condoms, not promises.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
