Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
