i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
