It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
