Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize