There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
