we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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