TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
we should paint friendship bongs
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
