So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
