My brain says no but my pants say off.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
