this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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