I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
its liver damage thursday
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize