We won't sleep together?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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