There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
