Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
