dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
