i think i have two assholes
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize