You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize