New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
