Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
