The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
