Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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