I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Success! We fucked roommates!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
