I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
