Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
