So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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