my vag is so smooth its legendary
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize