Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
