You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
