please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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