Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize