What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
