so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
