Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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