Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
