So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
