I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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